Oh, I will dare something today. I’ll reflect on religion. But I start somewhere else: free food. My ex, low-income earner like me, often goes to the free food distribution at the Anglican Church. He has regularly shared food with me and some of that was really good. I’m also getting better in cooking large amounts of bruised apples and slightly rotten veggies to extract vitamins and preserve the good parts.
Last Friday, he couldn’t go and I had been interested in going. So, he explained me what to do and off I went. It was a lovely balmy blue sky afternoon. I lined up in front of the church behind an old man with suspenders called Jack. There were almost only old people, about half of them Chinese. Most of them with trolleys.
At the given time, we all shuffled in line into our rows sitting with trolleys between our legs. A very light whiff of alcohol and wee waved over us but it was very light. Chinese music was playing while we waited for the brief sermon to begin. The altar area was full with plastic bags which we were waiting for.
The sermon
Then the white pastor began to talk and it was translated into Chinese. “Why are we all here? Jesus says we should help our neighbours and we are neighbours. I’m on this side of the street and you are on that one (the social housing towers).” Wow, I was amazed how quickly he had lost me. It felt really patronising. It got worse when he said that the poor followed Jesus first and then asking us if we were poor. Well, we were waiting with our trolleys to carry home free food which was good enough to still eat but not good enough to still sell. While I wouldn’t call myself poor, I wouldn’t call myself rich. At least not financially rich. But did this have to be pointed out so clearly?
Then he came to a part in which he tried to explain how Jesus is forgiving. He started to ask some of us if we had done anything bad. Everyone was either not answering or whispering no. He went on that he had done bad stuff (apparently, he had been a drug addict and stolen things – I’m guessing he found Jesus who helped him out of that). Then he declared that everyone had done something wrong. I wanted to beg to differentiate. I’m certainly not an angel but I haven’t been a drug addict and stolen things.
Being religious
That pastor was certainly pretty clumsy. He was patronising although he appeared to be a nice guy when he walked around and talked to people later. There are great pastors and other religious leaders who are supportive of their communities. Also, there is much about religion which is more part of the culture than of the belief system. That day, I talked to an Irish friend who goes to church and sends her kids to a Catholic school. However, she is surely a bit religious (although that never shines through) but it’s a lot about being Irish and Catholicism being intertwined with Irish culture that makes her stick to the church.
I’ve been raised Protestant. My father liked to question many of the Bible’s stories and some religious prescriptions, so I started with an open mind. There was no question for me or my ex to christen our kids on the first trip to Germany. We agreed without any discussion. It was predominantly about our Australian-born kids being welcomed into our German community (friends and families), since that is what christening is about. However, we have never read the Bible (or even mentioned it) to the kids, taken them to church or done anything else in regards of practising religion. There is no doubt that my ex and I live according to Christian values (though they might be mixed nowadays). But non of us is a practising Christian.
Not a fan of religion
Interestingly, many find happiness in religion though I feel that religion is also responsible for much unhappiness. Let’s unpack that. Religion usually offers a community and structure (e.g. five times a day praying or going to church every day or every Sunday). This can offer us lots of Oxytocin through the bonds we make with that community and the feeling of security we gain through community and structure. Big happiness maker! Add the spiritual factor to help us trust the universe (or deity) to support us and it’s a happiness firework.
However, religion is a set of rules. Things have to be done a certain way so that the community can accept you. Excluding people from that community because they either don’t follow the rules properly or they dare to belief in another deity or religious story (come on, Jews, Christians and Muslims really have all the same basic story which then works with adaptations), has a long cruel history.
Better ways
Now, what is important is the spiritual part. Spirituality is actually super important and plays a crucial role in happiness. While we sometimes believe we know the world and have everything under control, this is an illusion. We are not even specs in the endless universe but also, we are all connected. Embracing this bigger-than-me existence and believing in the beneficial universe (deity) is a good way into happiness. It’s about letting go and accepting that we don’t know it all.
So, if you extract spirituality (including your ways of praying and showing gratitude), community and some structure from religion (so, dump all the dogma and rules), you get something very helpful . You don’t have to combine the elements – so you can engage with spirituality on your own but you also build a community for yourself and set up some structures. Now, we are talking!
What do you think about this take on religion?